I can’t thank Hospice enough for the amazing support they gave Bill and my family. I couldn’t imagine being able to care for Bill at home without them.
Please join me in supporting the Hospice North Shore Appeal Week by supporting one or more of their fundraising campaigns – no matter how big or small, your support will make a difference to hundreds of families within our community like mine.
When Jenny’s husband Bill was given a terminal diagnosis, she had more idea than most what to expect. In the mid 1990’s Bill’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. “At the time there was no Hospice so she had to be cared for in a Private Hospital, which wasn’t ideal for her or the family. I had heard about Hospice and went to take a look. The Hospice In Patient Unit was still under construction, but they said they would contact us once the Unit was opened.” Sadly that call came one week after their Mum had passed away.
Not long after Jenny decided she wanted to give back to the community and signed up to be a Hospice volunteer starting in the kitchen. She spent time at reception before becoming a Community Volunteer where she would regularly visit a Hospice patient to give the Carer support where needed and also allow them a break. “I enjoyed getting to know my patients and their Carers. I could see the stress that many of them were going through and knowing that I was able to help made it all worthwhile.”
In November 2010 Jenny and Bill received the news that what they thought was Bill’s vision deteriorating, was in fact a brain tumor. “It was a shock, so much of our lives together flashed in front of me.
I remembered meeting Bill. Mum had brought my sister and I out from England to live when I was 16 and we set up home in Devonport. In those days there were no fridges, so I had to make daily trips to the butchers where Bill was doing his apprenticeship. We married two years later!
Bill was born and bred on the North Shore. He loved the Shore and he loved his ever expanding family of 5 children, 13 grandchildren and a great grandchild on the way – we were the most important thing to him. This just wasn’t fair.”
They were told that it wasn’t an option to try and take the tumour out – it was too deep. But Bill did undergo an operation to relieve some of the pressure on his brain. He also had chemotherapy and radiation to reduce swelling and slow down the advancement of the tumour. “It was about giving him as much quality as we could for the time he had left”.
Over time Bill’s mobility decreased and by July 2011 he was bedridden. “As his legs failed, it restricted his quality of life. I knew it was time to talk to Bill’s Doctor about getting in touch with Hospice. Bill didn’t want to go into hospital, so I needed to do all I could to keep him at home. We moved his bed into our living room which has always been the centre of our home. For us it was important not to shut him away in a bedroom, he needed to feel like he was still part of the world. He would have plenty of visitors and there was always a constant flow of family.”
Hospice helped keep Bill on top of his pain. “The lovely Hospice nurses would pop in once or twice a week to check on Bill’s pain and keep an eye on his deteriorating health. When he was given a syringe driver, which delivers medication continuously over a 24 hour period to help manage his symptoms, the nurses came every day to change the driver. They were also so wonderful to me, spending time talking, seeing how I was doing, keeping me informed on what was happening with Bill – it was so reassuring”
Six weeks before he died Bill couldn’t even feed himself. “It really was like caring for an adult baby. While he kept his sense of humour it was sad to watch such a loving man deteriorate before your eyes. He would sometimes get upset about his death, but typical of Bill, he was more worried about how I would cope.”
At the end of November 2011 Bill was admitted into the In Patient Unit. “He had been reluctant to go into Hospice and when we finally talked him into going, he was determined that he wasn’t going to stay. It gave Hospice an opportunity to look at Bill’s medications and it turned out to be such a relief for me - I hadn’t realised how much caring for Bill full time had taken out of me. I hadn’t had a break, when I wasn’t with Bill, friends and family would sit with him, but I would be rushing around doing things that needed to be done – I just didn’t stop. You just can’t switch off. So while he was in Hospice, I was able to catch up on some sleep and recharge my batteries. I spent the days visiting Bill in Hospice but I didn’t have to worry about him as he was in excellent hands”.
Due to Bill’s deteriorating health, the family decided that they would bring Christmas forward by 2 weeks. “It is a tradition that the whole family comes to our place for Christmas day, so we have all our children and most of our grandchildren with us – it is always such a special day. This year of course was even more special as we knew it would be our last with Bill, so everyone made it – Bill had a wonderful day - it was fabulous.
As it turned out it wasn’t our last Christmas with Bill as he was still with us on 25th December so our children took charge. Although Bill had really started to deteriorate, we all had another great day – but we knew that each day was now a bonus for us all”.
Bill passed away peacefully surrounded by family just before the new year.
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