Thirty two years ago, Carolyn’s beautiful teenage daughter, Louise, died of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. Louise was diagnosed at age four, and died aged fourteen – old enough to understand the future milestones that she would not achieve. “I think about Louise everyday”, says Carolyn. “She had a great personality. She loved life and her close girlfriends, and they loved her. Many of them kept in touch with me for years. Louise was spirited, cheeky and couldn’t wait to grow up...”
At the time of Louise’s death, there was very little support for families nursing loved ones who were dying. Carolyn says, “It was so hard watching your child die in pain. The hospital nurses were wonderful, but because Louise was ‘terminal’, we were referred back to our GP. He was away, so we had to deal with a locum. I think he found having to prescribe medication for a dying child too daunting – he prescribed Louise one dose of morphine per day. It did little, if anything, to alleviate her suffering”.
Carolyn spent many sleepless nights caring for Louise as she struggled in pain. At the end of six weeks, Carolyn remembers being so sleep deprived, she could barely function. Her family felt helpless, and incredibly lonely. Eventually, the hospital nursing staff and paediatric oncologist organised for private nurses to help Louise 24 hours a day. Louise died three days later. “They did their best, but they were healers, and not at all knowledgeable in palliative care - relieving and preventing suffering”.
Carolyn’s memories of Louise, and the way she died, led her to become a driving force in establishing a Hospice here on the North Shore. Carolyn was adamant that others should not have to suffer as her family did, and that she would achieve her dream for the North Shore community. For more than twenty years, Carolyn initiated and led many of the fundraising events that enabled this Hospice to become a reality, all as a volunteer.
Today, patients, families, staff and volunteers find peace in Hospice’s ‘Louise McCondach Quiet Room’ – a place for reflection, contemplation and prayer. Carolyn’s eldest daughter, Fiona, also designed the cards for our Christmas Trees of Remembrance. The candle represents ‘lighting up a life’, and is nestled in a wreath, signifying remembrance. Carolyn says, “A big part of our Christmas is remembering Louise, and the special times we had together as a family. I am so proud her legacy lives on through Hospice North Shore.”
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