Connie Rynbeck is a dignified lady. Despite being very ill, she is fully engaged in the conversation I have with her and her daughters, as she sits up in her bed in Hospice North Shore’s inpatient unit.
Short of breath, she allows her two daughters, Monique Nash and Debbie Adding, to speak on her behalf as I sit with the three of them to hear their story. “You can speak when we get something wrong, Mum,” says Debbie.
Having planned to live out her last years in a nearby residential care centre, 79 year old Connie was diagnosed with atypical chronic myeloid leukaemia (CML) in November 2014. As her symptoms progressed, she found it increasingly hard to manage at her home. It took her all morning to get out of bed, shower, dress and put on her makeup. She felt nauseous, breathless and tired. Finally she was forced to stay in bed.
When her doctor suggested she consider Hospice care, she was far from keen. Like so many people, the mention of Hospice produced images of a [depressing] place that people go to die.
But after some difficult days in her home and uncomfortable stays moving from ward to ward in an overstretched hospital, she and her daughters decided to explore the Hospice option.
[The family felt the difference immediately, says Monique.]
At first Hospice services came to Connie in her home. A Doctor, nurses and physiotherapist all made visits to help ease her symptoms and make her more comfortable.
Finally, though, Connie needed to come and stay in Hospice’s inpatient unit, where she is enjoying the “serenity” (as Connie puts it) of her newly refurbished room.
For Debbie, it’s the dignity with which her Mother is treated that stands out. “If these are your last days or weeks, dignity is so important,” she says. “The care here is 100%,” adds Connie.
“The Doctors and nurses are angels,” says Monique; “and the attention to detail, down to fresh flowers on every meal tray, makes it feel luxurious.”
Asked what the family’s advice would be to others considering Hospice care, the sisters advise two things: “Be open minded,” says Monique. Debbie suggests “earlier is better; get to know the service, so that you feel familiar with the people and the place and you feel completely at home.”
Connie died 23 December 2015.
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