Sarah and Dave Clifton are making the most of Hospice North Shore’s counselling service to help their children, Jasmine (6) and Jake (8), understand and cope with Sarah’s illness, but the care they are receiving from friends in your local community is nothing short of amazing.
Sarah’s diagnosis of metastatic gall bladder cancer in October 2015 was a terrible shock. She was told she had just weeks to live, so she and her husband immediately set about preparing their children Jasmine (four years old at the time) and Jake (then seven) for the worst.
“We had a movie night and told them,” says Sarah. It was a hard concept to explain to them but they tried to put it into a context they might understand. One of the family’s pet hens had recently died, so this gave them a reference point.
Contrary to early predictions, however, Sarah’s health improved and she has now celebrated two Christmases since her diagnosis.
The extra time has given the family the chance to make the most of some of the wrap-around services you make possible at Hospice: counselling for the children and complementary therapy for Sarah; both of which Sarah says have been invaluable.
Sarah believes it’s important to help her children deal with the challenges ahead. She wants them to develop a relationship now, with Hospice counsellor and family support team leader Ann Smart. “I want them to be able to talk to her as my illness progresses,” says Sarah “… and after I’m gone.” These are clearly painful words for her to speak, but she points out that the children need to see it’s OK to cry.
“It’s OK to cry and to snuggle” offers Jasmine - the delightful six year-old cuddled up with Mum.
In addition to your care, Sarah has a network of extremely supportive friends who keep the family’s freezer stocked with meals, help look after the children, visit regularly and pamper Sarah with hand creams, face wipes manicures and weekly flowers. They even donated a chest freezer to hold the meals.
“Sarah and Dave have done such a great job talking with the children,” says Ann Smart. “… and their community of supportive friends is wonderful.”
The pièce de résistance is an amazing playhouse for the children. This top-of the range construction comes complete with veranda, curtains and a mezzanine floor, inspired by Sarah’s memories of her own childhood Wendy house.
Memories are important. Sarah has made special cushions for both Jake and Jasmine out of her flannelette pyjamas. On each she has stitched these words:
“These are PJs I used to wear
Whenever you hold them
Know I am there
Love Mummy
X X X X X X X”
Sarah says it’s the personal touch from Hospice that is so valuable. “You have given me someone I can talk to; who comes in to visit; someone we can establish a real relationship with.” And she has found it reassuring to know that she and Dave are doing what works for their children and have a support network in place for them.
Thank you for the safety net you make possible for this family.
